Youth and Young Manhood

I visit the burger joint close to my office so much, I’ve been accused of working there. But there’s a simple explanation:

Foursquare feud!

When I moved to Austin last fall, I had 4 or 5 Foursquare friends.

(Brief aside for those who aren’t nerds: Foursquare allows you to “checkin” at places you visit and alert your friends that you’re there. It’s sorta like a phone call for the lazy or a mass text message for the comatose. You can see a history of my checkins at the recently updated timhackbarth.com)

One of my early Austin friends was Jason Smith. And Jason, as his friends can attest, is fond of food that’s terrible for you. Actually, it would be more accurate to say he detests foods that provide nourishment to his body in any way.

Because of his dietary habits, Jason was known to frequent P Terry’s, a most excellent burger place on South Lamar and Barton Springs. He was even anointed “mayor” of P Terry’s, a designation given by Foursquare to the person who visits a venue most often.

Jason’s visits to P Terry’s became an easy joke among our friends…we even presented him with a gift certificate for his birthday. It was perhaps $15 or $20, I can’t remember. I do remember, however, that these gift certificates were vanquished by the next time we hung out.

Recently, I’ve been going to P Terry’s fairly regularly. I’ll read Instapaper and eat lunch alone, preparing for the workday ahead. At this point, I even have a regular order. If you’re vegetarian, I highly recommend it:

#5 (veggie burger meal) well-done with jalapeños on a wheat bun. And make sure to have the lemonade to drink because they make it fresh, so no HFCS.

As a result of my frequent visits, I replaced Jason as the mayor of P Terry’s in mid-April. He promptly texted me:

This will not stand.

But it HAS stood. And I rub it in at every opportunity, taunting Jason with checkins such as:

Whoa, they specifically mentioned I was ‘cooler than the previous mayor’

The lemonade tastes sweeter today for some reason

They’ve begun to address me as ‘Benevolent Dictator’

And my personal favorite:

Wow, mayors get blow jobs here!

To get back to the question at hand my dear Jen McNasty (is that Irish?), I don’t work at P Terry’s. But I go often because it’s delicious, it’s convenient and it gives me joy to know that I’m mayor and not Jason.